Friday, 25 May 2007

What's wrong with the UK (part 2)

This isn't going to be in the same vein as the last rant. I'm talking about a different sort of wrong. As Hartigan (Frank Miller's Sin City) says:"There's wrong, and then there's WRONG, and then there's this. "

On Channel 4, after the champions' league final, there was an informative and enlightening programme entitled Celebrity Sex Tapes Unwound!!!. Nothing wrong so far (apart from the multiple exclamation marks in the title). TV, and most of western society when you think about it, survives on smut and celebrity gossip.

The programme consisted of discussing the top 10 celebrity sex tape 'scandals', by showing pixellated excerpts (no, that's not the wrong bit), along with various talking heads discussing the impact on society these tapes had at the time (still fine, even if it's just a poor excuse to show the tape excerpts).

These talking heads were made up of people you might expect: people in the porn industry, gossip journalists, lawyers involved in some of the cases, and Germaine Greer.

Yes. That's the wrong bit.

Gezza, as I think she should be known, was sitting comfortably in her living room, as though she'd just had a nice cup of tea, when what she'd actually had was a nice viewing of porn. And as usual she let her opinions be known. Just imagine it...

Germaine Greer discussing Rob Lowe's romp with two teenage girls at a political convention (long before The West Wing).

Germaine Greer mouthing off about Paris Hilton's prowess (or lack thereof, in Gezza's view) at giving head.

Germaine Greer talking about Tommy Lee Jones', and I use her own words, "magnificent cock".

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

The only thing that could be more wrong, is the sequel 'porn-umentary' where Gezza shows Paris how to do it right...

I apologise dear readers, but a pain shared is a pain lessened.

On the upside, I like the idea that I might get some accidental traffic to the blog from people searching for "Germaine Greer porn" - muahahahhaaahaha.

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